Welcome to the Neighborhood

I went home this weekend to help my parents move into their new house. I say new house, but what I really mean is a postage stamp-sized cottage that is squeezed between other postage stamp-sized dwellings on a street traveled by children on bikes and middle aged women power walking in color coordinated spandex. We are farm dwellers by nature, and up until two weeks ago we were exactly that, living in a white farmhouse on rolling property with two tree lined driveways and a clear stream you could hear from your bed at night.

So, for the first time, we found ourselves surrounded, literally, by eyes. The girl next door sitting on the porch, the kids across the street playing with their dog--they were all curious and we, by default, were self conscious. Everyone smiled, but no one had the gumption to approach us until Mary hobbled over, cane in hand, startling my sister (Meg) as she put our tennis rackets in the trunk.

Mary: Hey there! I'm Mary, I live two houses down. What's your name?
Meg: I'm Meghann. It's nice to meet you.
Dad: Hey, I'm Mark, it's nice to meet you.
Mary: Is that your wife? (point towards me)
Dad: No, that's my older daughter, Holly.
Me: Nice to meet you.
Mary: I've lived here for 60 years, so I know just about everyone around here.
Dad: I bet you do. We're really enjoying the neighborhood. It's real nice.
Mary: Who cut the grass?
Me: My Dad did. It looks better, doesn't it?
Mary: He did? (point at my 19 year old boyfriend)
Meg: No ma'am, my Dad did. (pointing at my father, who is sporting a salt and pepper beard)
Mary: So where did you and your wife move from? (again, looking at me)

It goes on like this for a while, her confusing my father for my husband and my boyfriend for my father. Throughout the entire 30 minute conversation, my Dad is polite, courteous--no, friendly to Mary, charming her with his appropriate, simplified questions and comments. She eventually lost interest in us and went back to her flower-laden cottage. We got in the car waiting in silence, until all the doors were shut.

Dad: I do believe Mary is crazy, don't you?
Me, Meg: Yes!
Dad: She was going on and on. She must know everyone in this neighborhood.
Me: She is so excited that she has someone new to watch.
Dad: Whew. I saw her coming towards us and I thought about running.
Me: I started to turn around and hide inside.
Meg: Thanks a lot guys! She came out of nowhere. Scared the crap out of me.
Dad, sighing: I guess I can't walk around naked anymore.

I think they're going to fit in just fine.