Oink.

I'm afraid of the swine flu.

I don't want to be--I've never been afraid of sickness before. It's just that, well, it's from swine. There's something about the word swine that really gets under my skin. Pig flu? Not so terrifying. Swine flu? Nightmare material.

Plus, you have no way of knowing who has been to Mexico recently. If you had just returned from vacation in Cancun, would you walk around telling people, "Don't grab that door handle--I just came back from Mexico. I could be infected." No, you would think, "Well I'm not sick. I just have a sore throat, but that's from allergies. No need to freak people out."

Please, people, FREAK ME OUT.

Wait, too late.